


Playing Favorites

by RosaRiver



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Deceit's a big meanie, LetLoganFeelThings2k18, Logan Needs A Hug, Logan doesn't get it, Logan's mY favorite-, Lots of Crying, M/M, Not Deceit though, Oh wait Patton has it covered-, Pre-Relationship, Self-Doubt, What even are emotions???, and Patton, and all of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 03:10:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13989210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosaRiver/pseuds/RosaRiver
Summary: Logan has been feeling things lately. That alone has him shaken up, but then he goes and starts to have negative thoughts and emotions. They're clouding his reasoning and making it hard to do his job.Is he really no one's favorite? Is he even important?Luckily the one person who can bring the light back arrives just in time to give Logan a big hug. And maybe some more feelings Logan still hasn't figured out.





	Playing Favorites

Feelings were never completely lost on Logan. There were plenty of times he felt things. Curiosity being the most obvious, but there were also times when he felt emotions that were completely new to him. Such as whenever he looked into Patton's eyes. That burst of tingly excitement and confusion still invoked an internal debate within him. It frustrated him to no ends, and he spent a few sleepless nights trying to understand it all.

Still, that terrifying emotional outburst was better than whatever this was.

This new mood was slow coming. It started with a small drop of self doubt, stemming from being told he was the least favorite. It spiraled from there, and he began to notice every time he was forgotten or talked over. Even blatantly ignored. 

It began to... hurt.

It was an entirely new discomfort to the aspect, and of course he attempted to suppress it the best he could. But that became quite hard over time, and it grew into a gaping hole where he felt like his heart should have been. 

Then, as lucky as he is, came Deceit's first appearance in a video.

"Everyone's favorite character."

For a shining moment, he thought Patton had just said the words he'd secretly been hoping to hear. That he was noticed and important and loved. That's all he wanted.

Then Deceit's true identity was revealed, and that happiness was pulled from under him in an instant. Now he's stuck in the downfall. Maybe Deceit did this on purpose, but he had no idea how hard this would hit the Logical side.

'Am I the least favorite...?'

The same words had been tossing and turning in his mind as he sat in his room, a blank expression in his face. 

Through means of deduction, overthinking, and surfing the Internet, he finally concluded he was. The evidence was stacked against him. The other sides had quirks and good intentions and angst on their side. He had... nothing. Not even the others needed him. All he did was make things worse and get ridiculed for his mistakes.

And that, I believe, was the first time Logan allowed himself to cry about something. Never in his life had he given himself time for the luxury, but sitting in his room, drowning in self pity, he felt the tears starting to run. 

Realizing he had broken- Logical traits weren't supposed to express emotion- the soft cries turned to sobs. He muffled the sound best he could, curling up on his bed and folding in on himself. Rushes of feelings bombarded him from what felt like every corner of his brain. 

He wasn't supposed to feel like this!

Why can't he just stop feeling?

Why can't everything just sto-

There was a sudden knock on the door, accompanied by a frantic, but soft voice, "Logan, is that you? What's wrong?"

It was Patton.

He attempted to speak, but each time he breathe was stolen by another round of tears. So he didn't respond.

Patton hesitated, based on the silence that plagued the air for a moment. Then he spoke again, "I'm coming in, ok?"

Patton opened the door slowly, walking in and shutting it behind him. He cautiously made his way to Logan's bedside, wincing to see how much of a mess Logan had been left in.

"Hey Lo'..." he said, siting next to him on the bed and rubbing his shoulder comfortingly.

Again, Logan couldn't respond, he just slightly leaned into the touch, choking back louder sobs.

"Shh, it's ok," Patton said in a soothing voice, "Just breathe."

So Logan breathed. Deeply and shakily, but breathing nonetheless. Eventually he stopped crying, trembling hard and his face wet with tears as he tried to hide it from the Moral aspect.

"Feeling any better?" Patton asked, a sad smile on his face.

Logan looked up for a second, "Y-Yes. Kind of."

"Sometimes all you really need is a good cry before you can really figure out what to do about it," Patton said, with his signature Dad voice.

Admittedly, Logan was take aback by his sudden output of considerable knowledge, but then he remembered that this was Morality he was talking to; he was much smarter than he let on. Not to mention this was his job.

Logan gave another small nod and weakly pulled himself up to sit next to Patton. He wasn't as distressed as before but he was still scared. He hated these reactions and impulses and the hot tears that dampened his pillow. Patton somehow made it easier.

Patton sighed, "So, what has you feeling so low... gan-"

Logan smiled lightly, hearing the joke. Even if the Dad Jokes exasperated him, they were still heart-warming. He took another deep breathe and tried to decide where to begin.

"He told me I was everyone's favorite," he stated blankly, looking at the ground.

Patton knew who he was referring to. Deceit had left most of them shaken, but Logan was by far the most impacted by his snarky remarks and manipulation. It was painful to watch.

Patton gulped, "You know he was just trying to get under your skin. That's all it is."

Logan shook his head, "But it really was a lie. I'm no one's favorite. I could cite several different instances if you needed-"

"No- Logan, I know it's not true because you're my favorite!! And I definitely count for something, huh?" 

Logan was not expecting that. 

He immediately melted at those words, doing something completely out of character: he gave Patton a hug.

More whimpers bubbled to his surface and he squeezed Patton, who nodded and pat his back, "It's ok. Let it all out. I'm right here."

Logan nodded, sobbing into Patton's shoulder, an inexplicable smile on his face. He wasn't sure if it was gratefulness, surprise or what. He just felt lifted somehow. He was floating on air. It felt nice. He sniffed and finally pulled away, not sure how to respond to the heartwarming gesture that made him feel that way.

"Th-Thank you, Patton," he tried, the smile fading again. But he wasn't sad, just back to normal. Or- what he considered normal. 

Patton softly smiled and nodded, "I only told the truth. I know there are plenty of fans out there who love you, I'm just the lucky one who has the chance to say it."

"Thank you," he said again and shook his head, still confused by the emotion inside him.

He didn't know how to feel. It was so odd, feeling so many things at once when he was used to so little. He felt hope and shock and despair and everything in between. 

Logan sniffed and rubbed his eyes from the tears, "I apologize for my emotional outburst. I can assure you it won't happen again."

The emotion had all but left his voice, and his expression fell completely. He was hiding it again. Patton could tell even if he hadn't been an expert.

"Logan... it's ok to feel things."

Upon hearing those words, Logan frowned, as if confused, "But, I'm not supposed to 'feel'."

The moral side huffed, "Of course you are. Just like I'm allowed to be sad and Virgil's allowed to be happy and Roman's allowed to be scared. It happens! The only way you're getting better is if you face these gooey feelings head on and accept them for a part of you."

Logan blinked, "Part... of me?"

The enthusiastic nodding of the other made sure to clarify that statement. Logan nodded back, much slower, and the corners of his mouth twitched into a smile.

"See, your smile's adorable!!!" Patton almost squealed, leading to a small amount of blush from the other.

The side considered everything Patton had said, everything he told him, and how it was usually true. He sighed deeply and looked up at Patton, his smile slightly weaker.

Emotions were getting the better of him again as he rubbed his eyes and laughed out a small, "Thank you. So much."

Patton practically glowed as he spoke, "It was my pleasure, Lo'."

There was a fleeting silence before Logan's voice, raspy from sobs, broke it, "Could you... stay?"

Patton didn't miss a beat, putting a arm around the other and letting him lean on him, "Anything for you, Loganberry."

The usually cold and unresponsive trait immediately disarmed at the touch, letting himself fall into the leaning position. All the feelings from before seemed to settle, one by one, until only a few remained. It was gratefulness, of course, and then that tingly, heart-stopping feeling. He used to despise it, but now he accepted it. Even if he didn't know what it was. 

'L-Love? Is that what this is?'

'Oh.'

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Hope you liked this angst fest fueled by lack of sleep and a sad playlist!  
> I love my boys a lot compared to all the hurt I put them through-
> 
> I'll be writing fluff next though, ;0
> 
> I'd love feedback if you've got any!
> 
> Anyway that's it for now, thank you again!!!


End file.
